Tales with a Texas Twist by Donna Ingham

Author:Donna Ingham [Ingham, Donna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lone Star Books
Published: 2018-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

Diamond Bill

Although I’ve seen versions of these next two stories in more or less generic collections of American folklore, I suspect they all stem from one source: J. Frank Dobie’s collections. Certainly my own adaptations of the tall tales about the rattlesnake who fought in the Civil War and about Bigfoot Wallace’s ingenious idea for armor in his battle with the Comanches started there. So here’s how I tell them.

This is a story that was always told by a fellow named Jeb Rider from over in east Texas. The way Jeb told it, he was just walking down to the spring one day to get a bucket of water. He said he heard something behind him but he didn’t pay much attention, thinking it was just a rustle in the leaves. But then he heard a low rattle.

Well, sure enough, he turned around and there not six steps back on the trail was the biggest diamondback rattlesnake he’d ever seen in his life. But now when Jeb stopped, the snake stopped, and he wasn’t rattling his tail at all. As a matter of fact, Jeb said that snake only lifted up its head and looked at him as if it didn’t mean him any harm. Still and all, it was a rattlesnake, and Jeb didn’t have a stick or anything to use for a weapon. But he could look on down the trail there and see a big old dead dogwood tree. He thought if he could make it to that dead dogwood, he’d break him off a branch and then he’d have him a weapon.

So he walked on down the trail, looking back every little bit, and sure as the world that snake was coming right behind him. But, he said, it was keeping kind of a respectful distance—sort of like a puppy that wants to follow you home, but still he’s afraid to get too close. Jeb made it down to the dead dogwood and broke him off a branch and turned around to just lambaste that snake. But even Jeb could see that the snake was still lying there as if it didn’t mean him any harm. To tell you the truth, Jeb said, the snake was looking a good bit more cordial out of those snake eyes than some human eyes Jeb had looked into. So Jeb did something that was clear contrary to nature. Do not try this at home.

He threw that stick away is what he did and walked on down to the spring and sat himself down on a cypress log. The snake came, too, and coiled himself up right there in front of Jeb and mostly looked grateful out of those snake eyes. Directly then Jeb started talking to the snake.

“Now, see here, snake,” he said, “I’m just going to call you Bill. Bill was my dog. Oh, he was the finest coon and possum dog a man ever had, and Bill understood me. He did. Lordy, I miss him. Yes sir, I’m just going to call you Bill.

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